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Blizzard Warcraft 3: The Frozen Throne Patch 1.19

This patch will be the final patch issued by Blizzard.


Today Blizzard Entertainment announced the release of their new and final patch. There changes are quite surprising to say the least.

Here is what they had to say about the Undead race:

"We at Blizzard always had a special place for the Undead race, because Undead is essentially The Zerg, and we love Zergs. In fact, most of us have named our kids after Zerg units. So we gave the race some new buffs"

Undead:

- All units in the Undead race now come with level 3 Death Coil and level 3 Frost Nova by default.
- Zergling..err..Ghould HP's have been buffed by 400.
- Frost Wyrms are now a tier one unit.
- Undead can now buy Book of The Dead from their shop.
- All enemy units on Blight will be dealt 30 damage per second.
- Death Knight can now coil himself.
- Unholy Aura ability for Death Knight now increases speed of friendly units by 200/400/800% and reduces enemy movement ability by the same factors.


They also announced changes for one of the classic races of Warcraft 3, The Orcs.

"We pretty much hate the Orc's. They're so green. So much more....muscular than our average employee's. To be honest, we feel intimidated. However, our hate for the Orcish race does not match our hate for one PiCori, a most retarded member of the Warcraft 3 community. Most of the buff's given to orc have been designed with...him in mind lets say."


Orc:

- Raider is a tier one unit.
- Ensnare cool down reduced to 0 seconds.
- Ensnare is auto cast.
- Raiders take 0.5 food and cost 3 gold.
- Blade Master can now create towers anywhere on the map in two seconds. This ability has a five second cool down.
- Blood lust is now un-discastable. Shamans are now a tier one unit.


It seems Blizzard has finally chosen to say something about the severe weakness of Humans.

"We at Blizzard are honestly quite shocked that after years, people still have not realized that the Human race was only included as a joke. We just don't get why you retards are playing as Human. So we're going to fix this problem for you."


Human:

- When playing a Human on ladder, you are thrown in a special game mode. Think "Where's Waldo" meets "Bounty Hunters". Essentially, you must kill 30 peons in order to win the game.
- Human units cannot attack
- As no one really uses any of the Human hero's other than the Archmage to start out with, we've removed the rest of them.
- Archmage hit points reduced to 1.
- Brilliance Aura now restores 500 mana per second on ENEMY units.
- Peon movement speed reduced to very slow.

But the most shocking is Blizzard's "Patch" for Night Elves

"The Night Elf race was a hot topic at the Blizzard Patch Meeting. In such meetings, we do large amounts of CRACK and HASHISH and some Extacy, accompanied by fat chicks with SIDEBURNS. We're just letting you know our frame of mind when we added these NE buffs.
We felt that the Night Elf race was still too weak and needed further buffing."


Night Elves:

- Wisps no longer die when they detonate.
- Detonate also does 500 damage to all enemy units within its area.
- Detonate has a 2 second cool down.
- All Night Elf units are invisible by default.
- Bears are now a tier 1 unit.
- Demon Hunter Mana Burn buffed to 30000/40000/100000000000 mana/health per strike.
- Added new ability for Demon Hunter called "Shit me an expansion". The ability instantly destroys all creeps in a given radius, places a Tree of Life, and enhances its build speed by a factor of 400 hit points per second. This ability is auto cast, without cool down, and has infinite range.
-You can't kill the Demon Hunter.
- Gold Mine's can now attack enemy units. They deal 100 damage per strike and have fast attacking speed.
- No we're not doing shit about mass Talons. But PiCoRi still can't win.




Blizzard's parting words...

"Even though this is the final patch, we might release one or two mini patches in the future, in case the Night Elf race is still too weak. Also, prize winning tournament held for this game MUST have a Night Elf player as its winner, or risk being sued for very large amounts of money. Check the EULA."

Из блогов на sk-gaming.com

Отредактировано Spail (10-09-2005 11:59:22)